My shelter

July 31, 2016

"Don't judge others because they sin differently than you"

I'm not sure the origin of that quote but it speaks to me. Sometimes we tend to look at others as being flawed in a way that we would never be, but if instead we look at ourselves we will find flaws that we have that other people do not struggle with. 

One thing that I grapple with is laziness and lack of motivation bordering on depression. Growing up I was always the spacey kid with her head in the clouds. I lived in my mind and I moved slowly in the "real" world. Even now I am great at coming up with plans, organizing lists, and dreaming up things I would like to do, but when it comes time to carry out those plans I feel overwhelmed to the point of being paralyzed. Perhaps it is a type of perfectionism ... if I can't do it right then I won't put much effort into it at all, or perhaps it's just a lack of motivation ... what's the point of it all anyway?

That is why I like to try different productivity hacks and mental tricks ... almost like personal social experiments. Some things that sort of work for me are cleaning to a timer, counting a number of tasks to perform, and giving up social media/internet usage every other day. In fact, what inspired this topic was a blog post by a friend of mine who just went on a week-long social media fast

These sort of mental tricks help to a degree. The procrastination is still there, but with internet not an option for the day I am likely to spend my time on healthier habits like gardening, reading, playing guitar, drawing, and other hobbies. I may still not be doing the things on my to do list, but at least I'm passing the time with better things than Facebook! 

But this post isn't really about all these productivity hacks. It is about not needing them at all. I have found that the times in my life when I have most seriously applied the process of Bhakti Yoga Meditation (specifically the prayerful chanting of God's names on beads in solitude), with sincerity and determination, that those are the times when I have noticed that I have the motivation to do the things that I need to do without struggle. It is as if I have gotten to the root of the problem and filled that hole in my heart so that I no longer need to just try to cover up the opening with band aids.

That's the the wonderful thing about meditation. I still struggle frequently, but when I do I recognize that it is a symptom of my not taking shelter in the Holy Names - the meditation upon God's names which is the heart and soul of Bhakti Yoga. 

Although I hover on the brink of despair ... and depression and purposelessness threaten to plunge me into an abyss of darkness at every turn, I have hope, and I have shelter in the Holy Names of God. It is my wish that all of my friends will have this shelter too.

Learn more about Bhakti Yoga by clicking here.

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